I hope you know

Each day I wonder where you are
If you are at peace, with whom you are.
I hope you know, you've made the right decision
The one you made, when you had our child.
I hope you know that we were the ones
The ones you chose, oh how grateful we are.
Each day I look at my child so dear,
I thank god for you, for you I am indebted.
No words can convey, no act can show
I hope you know, we love you so.
-April Cibulski

Me

I wish I was less stubburn sometimes!

Original LID

So as you may know, when we started the China adoption program back 9/05, our original Log In Date "LID" was 03/21/06. Reminder, it's the order of dates in which your dossier was logged in "in line." Originally is was for a baby girl, 6-12 months old named "Penny." Well, that was our name for this baby. But of course we were blessed with Felix when in Oct 2009, when we changed our status to the special needs group and either gender switch. Well, the CCAA just finished placement through 3/14/06. We would have probably been in the next month batch, or the following. I've wondered how I'd feel when our LID was referred. I feel so happy for ALL those waiting parents that made it through this long wait, but I also can't help but feel a little sad too. It's finally over, it's sad but somewhat of a relief. We are so thankful for Felix and we know he was supposed to be with us, but I can't help to think about our little Penny. I know I've said in the past that we consider Penny as more of a driving force that allowed us to find our 2 precious children. So congrats to all you 3/14 people.

What I would do different next time

So I think about how much easier the next trip to China will be. There is so much I know now and so many things I would do differently. This also depends on what province and time of year:
If I am to go to Beijing-ZZ and GZ again:
-I would skip Beijing and just go staight to the Province my child is in. They have to stay in your port city to get adjusted. It is also JAM packed with tours that tires you out for the rest of your trip. Seriously. It was the hardest part of the trip. Not to mention we will have Sami and Felix to drag from plane to plane this time and one less airport would be great.
-Would bring less snacks and more real food. More packaged soups, would make them and put in thermos, regardless of weather. Peanut Butter and jelly-you can buy bread there. You can buy snacks and stuff everywhere. They have 7Elevens there. Would bring some boxed milk because Sami gets loopy on nonorganic milk. Trust me it is so. I would bring a few packs of juice boxes too.
-LESS gifts. First of all, I brought way to many gifts. I think I only needed 6 or 7 and took about 14. They tell you you can buy gifts when your in your port city and throughout the trip.
-I would bring better clothes. That's right, better. There were times I wanted to feel better and I think a cute outfit would have helped.
-Less clothes for summer. In GZ there were launders EVERY where. Don't miss a laundry trip if your somewhere they don't speak english and have to go with your guide. Like in ZZ. Do bring little detergent as you can do socks and undies in hotel-showers have laundry lines for drying.
-Bring less meds. We used NightQ for John the last 2 days as he had a cold. And used Motrin for Sami on planes mostly.
Break-will return
-Oh, last time I brought rain boots and snow boots for the kids. I WON'T do that next time. We had no snow, it was 1st-2nd week Feb and no rain either. I think think leather sneakers are fine adn Walmart has great shoe option too there. We bought so many shoes/sandels in GZ.
-Less summer kids clothes. There are so many great places to buy kids cute clothes in GZ for super cheap. Also mens T-shirts. John says he's not going to bring any t-shirts next time. I got them down to 30 yuan some 25yuan. That's like 3-5 dollars.
-I would buy more Jade for myself. I only got one peice for me at the govt store
-I would shop at Jenny's Place mostly again. She give you best price and usually you can even talk her down a bit more if you buy a lot in one trip. She knows you'll be back and gives you gifts too. She will have her baby next time we go. Oh that's in GZ by the way. Go out back door of WS Hotel, walk across St and down that bock-not to the right just opposite of hotel, Starbucks is on the block to the right, Jenny's is to the left. Don't forget to shop at the Orphan store next to her.
-Oh, I would eat at UBC cafe across the street from the Crowne Plaza in ZZ or maybe it was across from the Holiday Inn.
-Eat when you have the chance because on tour days and paperwork/adoption stuff days, you may not eat but in the AM and then dinner.
What else
-Oooooh, the spa. We went to this spa in GZ. I think....go past Jenny's Place, you'll see an alley, go through it, make a left and it's right there. We got the foot treatment which was an 1 1/2 awesome experience. Full back massage, arms, glutes and of course feet. All while your feet soak in this scolding herbal detox bath. It wa 65 yuan. We gave them 120y I think. It was unbelievable. Te place was really clean and they spoke english. Just like everyone in GZ does.
-I would try to rest more. Instead of facebooking, emailing skyping while kids napped. I would try to nap too.
-would go to Starbucks more. I think I went twice. Once to get the kids a sando which they loved and coffee a couple of times. I forgot I could get iced tea w/ ice there. I'm an ice tea addict so when I realized I could get ice tea with ice at SB I got it-the day before we left.
-I would complain less
-I would have worried less before we traveled
-China is such a cool, safe place. They have everything you'll need of some sort. The people are so nice and love Americans.
-We would have given the local guy whos house we got to hang out in when touring through ZZ, more money. That guy was so nice and humble and kind. He deserved more then what we gave him.
-I would have brought a lot less diapers. You have many chances to get them.
-I'd say the most item that were over packed were:
DIAPERS, GIFTS FOR OFFICIALS and SNACKS.
-Do buy DVD's there. The right kind. I forget which kind but they play just fine and they are about 3$.
-DO bring you portable DVD player. If you don't have on, buy one.
-Do weigh your bags before you leave the US and before you leave to the next city. We were never over weight.

Health Updates

Felix is finally rid of those terrible parasites after 3 treatments. Poor guy. It's obvious he's feeling much different. He's had it for years the Dr. said so he probably didn't even know what feeling health feels like. He's put on 2 lbs in the past 2 weeks. He should start to grow at a more normal pace now that the Giardia is goneZoe. We are looking at scheduling some fun activities for the kids this summer. There are reading camps at our library that are supposed to be really fun. Of course we'll do Lego Land and the Zoo and stuff like that too but.......
Sami's getting so big, she's still taller then Felix. She just got a fever last night and was very clingy, tired and weak. She hasn't had a fever since she's been 6 months old. She is rearely sick so to see her like that is scary. We called the Dr. because of the stinking Swine Flu and she doesn't hae any of the syptoms so she nust just has a ladybug. I gave her a bath because she was shivering, after 20 min of a camomile bath, playing in the tub she felt much better and her fever dropped. She woke this AM early crying "which she never does," her fever was back. She asked for her milkie and fever went away by the time she was done with her milkie. She's eating ok, playing but still she's off a bit. We will probably take her to the Dr any way. I'll see how she is after nappy. I know how my parents must have felt when we were sick. You feel so bad for them. You just want to take their discomfort away, suck it all into you. She's doing so many things on her own now. She picks out her outfits and puts them on, usually over her PJ's and includes a tutu. Her underwear is usually over the outfit. Shoes seems to usually be on the correct feet so.....
She's been pooping in her potty the past few days and always wants to pee, all day long in it. She's been peepeeing in potty for about 4 months now but not as consistent as recently. My little baby got so big so fast. I don't believe it will be 2 years in June. Where did the time go? Oh, it went away waiting for Felix. LOL

It's May

It's May and my Bday is fast approaching!!! All I want is another dossier waiting to be matched. LOL. Call me crazy. I see little faces on waiting child sites and I want them all. Ok, one little face on my agencies site that I really want. She has CP and from her file, it just affects her legs a bit. Other then that, she's a bright, healthy, 5 yr old. We've been researching her condition for 4 weeks now and I'm trying to find out more info like we did about Felix. Through a number of yahoo groups in hopes that someone knows of her. We're learning how this condition affects the whole family. In speaking with other families that have children with her type of CP say it can vary from mild to extreme. So we continue the research. I spread the words about her with one of my friends help from my past travel group. Knowing how private my agency is, I was very careful what info I relayed. My agency got word about me advocating and slaped my on the hand for it with a warning. Oh well. They said we were still fine with them. But it did spike a lot of interest in this little girl. One couple of which I'm emailing with now is very interested. Maybe my connection with her is to find her a home not neccessarily our home. It seems that all the husbands are in the same boat, not ready to take on a 5 yr old or her condition as they immediatly think, mental disabilities. That's so not the case with this very mild and common CP. John doesn't know if he'd be ready in a year which is how long the process would take. But, he did say we could get in line in the Waiting Child program, which also would take about a year, which leads me to believe, he's just not ready for a child with CP. He is afraid her condition will be way worse then what's in her file.

Day to day

We're doing really well as a family. Felix is getting so much healthier. He had 3 different parasites in his body, which are now gone. Another surprise but not really was he had rickets, due to the lack of calcium and sunlight and overall lack of nutrients for 3 years. The level they measure the rickets has dramatically decreased, getting back to the level he should be at. we can just see the difference in his daily play. He's so much stronger, faster and doesn't take as long to recover from falls and stuff. We will be consistently battling his Hepatitis B though. His level is high, which in normal in a child that has been born into it. We cannot treat him yet as his body doesn't even recognize he has it. There are a number of ways to treat it but they are pretty harsh. I told my gym daycare today about his condition. I have finally gotten him to the point that he lets me go workout for 45 min or so as long as Sami doesn't complain, then he gets a little worked up too. They seemed very understanding and willing to deal with it, I might get told I can't bring him anymore one day soon though. We'll see. I've heard about that kind of thing happening. By law you do not need to release that info to daycares or schools. We thought it was our personal responsibility to tell them. As for his intestinal post surgery issues, there seems to be none. As long as he's growing and feeling well, his surgery was done well in Beijing. Sami loves her big brother "most of the time." She asks for him when she wakes. Him and daddy went to get bagels the other AM before she got up. She was all worked up because he wasn't here. It's the first time since 2/2/09 she didn't see him when she got up. Then when he got home, oh she was so excited AND w/ bagels!!!!! Our days are fun filled. We have the annual pass to legoland and our zoos so we frequent there. He loves to eat any where at any time, so just going out to a meal he's all smiles. It's so easy taking them anywhere. Sami is still the only one I have to really worry about. She's all over the place and Felix just listens to everything I say. They fight constently over toys "normal," but for the most part, they have a blast together. Can't wait to go back and do it all over again. No, really I know!!!! Until next time

Can't believe

I can't believe I didn't write any emails from the time we got Felix to the time we got to Guangzhou. I guess it shows how tough things got. I miss my friends from our travel group so much. You don't realize how you get so use to seeing them every day. Boucing ideas, comments, questions and concerns off of each other. Having hallway play time. You bond with each other in a way you won't with anyone else. We're all in the same boat, I mean bus, plane.....oh what ever. My friends respond with any thing I say " Oh, that's normal for a toddler boy that age." No, it not. It's very difficult to know the difference from being in an institution to regular toddler behavior. These kids have experience trama that my friends kids couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't go through. Does your child eat like it's his last meal because maybe sometimes it was for a long time? Doesn't want to sleep because they've never had a mama/dada there in the AM? Yes, these are some what normal toddler behaviors, but why they do them is totally different and have to be treated differently. Any way, I'll update more and with photos soon.
Thanks for reading

02/02/09-Guangzhou

John asked me to some up China in one word the other day. It took me all of one second to think, Chaotic. I think I made have said that in an earlier post. I guess part of it is just the way of life here. You talk fast, move fast " I mean your guide/rep does it for you" and think fast. Our reps always seem like they are arguing about something to the locals but we've decided that's just the way they communicate. BTW, there's someting wrong w/ my H key and I'm tired of going back to fix the missed H's. Anyway, another part of the chaos is that we have 12 other families in our group. So if one person is missing we wait, if one family is late we wait. We were ALL so happy to leave today and go down South to Guangzhou, Shaiman Island. One reason, it's WARM, another is we're that much closer to coming home. OK. So this AM we're all ready to go, everyones there, we load onto the bus. 20 min into te trip to the airport, dead stop on the road. People just get out of their cars here and walk around when this happen apparently. Hot, annoyed americans on a bus wanting to get on a plane, not good. Our rep is calling people to see what going on. She decided that there is a VIP here and they close down the roads both ways wen tis happens. She said president fromr other country maybe. Any who, she called the airport and told them to hold the plane for us, apparently you can do that here. So chaos in the airport of course, she has us all cut the line of people going through the check point all as she's yelling at everyone in the airport. It's pretty cool actually to get such treatment. We got pull here. We had a great plane ride Felix and Sami slept the whole 2 hours. Shaiman Island is beautiful and warm. We ate a ton at lunch bacause we hadn't eaten yet and it was 2pm, that happens often that you miss meals and have to just eat your snacks that your sick of. Lonae and I went shopping after lunch, had a tea ritual and the kids are sleeping. I love every family we're with, everyone is so great. Yesterday after we went to get our kids passports, the moms went over to a tea shop. I asked te guy how to do this block of tea and then he sits us down for a tea offering. it was such a cool experience. They put so much into serving a cup of tea. Any way, tomorrow we have a city tour, not anything to intense like in Beijing, the hard parts are over now. We'll be going to temples and church and shopping and then a group dinner. Here's a tid bit about Shaiman Island. BTW, as tough as it's been doing all the things we've had to do, I'd do it again in a heart beat. Don't be surprised if we're back in a couple of years!!! We are at the famous White Swan Hotel. Shamian Island, formerly known as Shameen Island, from its Cantonese pronunciation (Chinese: 沙面岛, pinyin: Shāmiàn dǎo) is a sandbank island in the Liwan District of Guangzhou city, Guangdong province, China. The island's name literally means "sandy surface" in Chinese.The territory was divided into two concessions given to France and the United Kingdom by the Qing Dynasty government in the 19th century. The island is a gazetted historical area that serves as a tranquil reminder of the colonial European period, with quiet pedestrian avenues flanked by trees and lined by historical buildings in various states of upkeep. The island is the location of several hotels, a youth hostel, restaurants and tourist shops selling curios and souvenirs. Since the early 2000s, Shamian Island has become well known for the many Western couples who reside there while seeking to adopt Chinese babies and young children, most of whom are orphaned and female. The White Swan Hotel is perhaps the best-known hotel in Guangzhou, having been in operation for many years, and is usually the hotel of choice for these couples. One reason for this popularity is that the hotel is adjacent to the United States consulate, making it convenient to file paperwork and handle bureaucratic matters. The consular section has since moved to the other side of the city (the whole consulate will move in 2012 as well), but the hotel is still the most popular destination for adopting couples. Beginning in 2007, the Chinese government slowed the rate of adoptions, and as a result the percentage of tourists to Shamian Island who are Westerners has decreased as well

side note

I just realized the dates might be off because I'm cut/pasting them from emails and it shows up as PST

02/01/09-Gotcha Day

We finally got Felix after a 3 1/2 year wait and it was so worth it. The day was hectic. We walked to the office, 5 families from our orphanage. We were the first family. He cried for a long time. The only way we could stop him was to feed him. After about an hour, with a rush to the passsport photo shop, he stopped. He's eaten a TON so far, won't stop. Sami was a little scared because all the kids were crying. She did really good right away, feeding him, giving him lollipop and toys. She's very concered. Now she won't leave him alone. She is all up in his face, she loves him already. This AM she was saying "sister, sister, little sister. Any way gotta go for now

Fri 1/30/09

I wish I could put into words right now what my day was like. I'll start off with-Amazing. We woke at 2am because we all went to bed when we got to the hotel @ 18:00. Went down to bfast at 6am. Met all the other families from our agencies adopting as well before our tour at 9am. I can tear up at how amazing these people are. They are giving, humorous, strong, down to earth, selfless, I could go on. Some families are here to adopt there 3-7th child. From minor special needs to missing parts of ear/hearing, clubed hands, albinism, heart conditions. We went to Tianamen square, Forbbiden City, "we walked this btw-2hrs, then went to chinese lunch "so good," then to the silk factory "John has a new found respect for silk making," then took a rickshaw through "common folk" town and home. Yes, we went into a chinese home. Sami was a trooper with no nap except for the hour she took before we went out in the AM. She fell asleep in John's arms on the rickshaw. So this house we went into, the man of the house was so cool. He was so greatful that we came, wanted us to ask questions...but it was not anything like you might imagine. He had crickets in his bed room. No, not to eat...they like to feel like they live in the country still. It's like a sound sleeper for babies. LOL. He had pet turtles too.....no, not to eat. Then finally back to the hotel at 17:00. Oh I forgot, we know what it's like to have a daughter as a celebrity. Sami was a big time hit. We had crowds of 20-30 people at a time taking pictures with her, of her, holding her. She would stop crowds and people would yell-oh, baby hi baby, pretty baby. Apparently it's good luck to have blonde hair and even good luck rubs off ih you touch a blonde and take a picture with them. Being the new year, everything that signifies good luck is 10 times more luck. I guess. Speaking of which. The fire works here go off all night until about 2am and the are like bombs. They aren't the wimpy M80's we have in the states, they are serious. It actually hasn't bothered Sami at all. She's sleeping right here and they are soooooo loud. And she had to have soy milk instead of reg milk. I couldn't find New Zealand or Austrailian milk in the market by the hotel. Then again, nothing is written in english soo..... I'll post pics tomorrow. So tired. Can't believe I wrote this much. Oh and my mom in law is such a trooper too. It was a lot of walking, stairs, crying Sami......I might have doubled this email to some of you on facebook, sorry to overload you.nite